Family

Yesterday I broke down and went to the doctor again.  This time I left with prescriptions, hopefully ones that will make life much better.  I am now on antibiotics, and I asked for the mother of all cough medicines, which I saved for bedtime.  I slept all the night through, minus one incident to take more cough medicine, and I feel like a new woman.  Ahhhh, the sweet bliss of real recovery.

During the boys' nap time yesterday I pulled out the spinning wheel and created some significantly less crappy yarn, and listened to Talk of the Nation on NPR.  Their conversation was about the Donor Sibling Registry that I've already discussed concerns about here.  I've more or less come to terms with how to handle this with the boys since my original posting, but I can't help but listen to the media coverage every time the subject comes up and I'm around to hear it.  I want to hear all the perspectives out there, and I want to know what other people in the same situation think.  There were no earth-shattering opinions to wobble my approach, but it's an intriguing listen nonetheless, especially if this is a subject that does or will concern you and your family. 

I am so grateful for the opinions that you, the internets and friends, offered after my initial blast with the realization that yes, there are donor siblings out there for the boys to discover.  I knew this as a theoretical possibility all along, but the reality knocked me unexpectedly a-kilter.  Since then, I've had some months just to quietly ponder what should or should not be done with this information, and I've decided that these are the boys' siblings to discover, not mine or Amy's.  We will do our best to always be honest with them about where they came from, how much their mommies loved and wanted them, and keep all of the information at an age-appropriate level.  Once they are old enough to fully understand, we will let their own curiosity guide our approach.  If they want to become a member of the registry themselves and contact their siblings, we will be supportive in whatever way we can.  

And now, as an aside, another interesting thing I heard on NPR yesterday is that the same lawyer who fought the Massachusetts supreme court on behalf of the the rights of gays and lesbians to marry (and won, as we all know) is now taking her battle to the federal level, against the Defense of Marriage act, to win the rights of those married in MA to reap the benefits of the marriage on the federal level.  It may sound stupid, but you go girl!!!  Their argument is that the Defense of Marriage Act was established to protect states' rights to define marriage.  And now that same act is discriminating against one state who's decision was to allow gays to marry.  I will fully admit that this is a blurb I've heard on NPR, no research of my own, so if I have some facts messed up, forgive me.  The counter argument was that all that the Federal Government has to do is prove that the institution of marriage is recognized and established to protect the efforts of procreation, thus, they are not obligated to extend those rights to Gays and Lesbians.  Here is where I cry bullshit.  If they honestly get away with discrimination based on that argument, ours is a flawed flawed world.

First off, we all know that there is no one monitoring straight couples in their efforts of procreation.  They get the benefits whether they choose to have children or not.  Second, in this day and age of assisted reproduction, adoption, and surrogacy, gay and lesbian couples ARE procreating, so how can you deny us the federally recognized rights of marriage?  The passage of Proposition 8 tore more families apart than it will ever protect, and the federal government is doing the same thing.  I'm sick and tired of hearing that all of this is in the name of protecting the family.  What about my family? Or families with single moms?  Or families headed by Grandparents, and Aunts, and Uncles?  Lets pull our heads out and start protecting ALL families.

Comments

[freddie]

I have to respond with a "hell yeah!" to your bull-shit call, Rachel.

That whole "protecting families" argument is ridiculously discriminatory on so many levels -- by that argument, no one who does not plan on procreating (or is unable to procreate) should be allowed to marry...

I'd go on, but I'd probably cease to make sense...

I'm glad to hear that you're feeling better. I can wait to see what fibery goodness you're spinning up.

And since I usually say this when I respond to your blog:
Damn your boys are cute!